Eye of Joy

Development        It’s crazy how science says that our brains aren’t fully developed until age 25....  So many of us made decisions that changed our entire lives way before we turned 25. Had children, doin time, got married,  divorced,  cursed God....  Smoke cigarettes. Develop addictions. Take out loans. Sign 10 and 20 year contracts. All before the age of 25....  What does that do to us? 

The Room   All I knew or  could feel was that I cared about people.  I wanted people to know that they mattered;   That this life is worth caring about.  I want them to wake up acknowledging that they got another day. Understanding that in itself is a big deal--- cause somebody didn’t wake up today I want people to see themselves through Gods eyes  To walk in a room and know that they are that one, while everyone else that one  too Some may think I’m talking only about confidence, but it’s not just that.  It’s one thing to be confident. It’s another to remain confident in a room with other confident people. And when we don’t meet one another’s confidence with competition, but rather we see it as a thing to appreciate, something to acknowledge and admire while remaining confident in ourselves , we then have shifted the room.  It no longer is a room where everyone’s looking for the one who out did them all, it b...

Connection  I yearn for the feeling of connection.  Like my cousins on a summer night.  Like me Bre on vacation.  Like Aacha and I at Wittenberg.  Like me and Asha in summer on campus.  Connected like… like alone doesn't exist. Like there’s somebody to laugh with; to experience life with.  I know I gotta learn to be “by myself” but I’m tired of being “by myself”.  

       Support Group? I know it’s not everyone’s job to understand me, I question whether anyone ever will. I suppose I’m just starting to really see where the hurt is coming from...  Changing the people I hung around and the places I spent time in was good but it came at a cost. A cost of feeling like its impossible to be understood  by people who haven't walked similar paths than you. Who also therefore have perspectives are simply different But I know different isn’t bad and I’ve learned so much. I guess it’s just hard or annoying or i don't know what the word is; but being the person to carry the stuff. Being the one with the "story". The "hard life". The one who "did it" who "made it out"—- kind of.... Is there a support group for that ?